Revision, not re-vision.

** Revised; portions removed secondary to subject's request (I do not wish to be sued for defamation). -sds **

It's almost 5am and, once again, I've been torn from the warm, safe arms of Morpheus by thoughts which are bound and determined to cause me sleepless grief. I suppose I'm receiving my just desserts after how I treated my soon-to-be ex-wife. I might be wrong. There are those who argue that the universe does not work that way. Being a poorly skilled cook, though, I do know that putting crappy ingredients into your meal then yields crappy food. I know that I had alot of options that would have been more mature or more acceptable. But riddle me this: Man is a creation of Nature, just like water or electricity. Almost anyone knows that both of these entities follow the path of least resistance when confronted with resistance. So my question is why is Man supposed to be regarded as more than natural ("supernatural"?) in his own circumstances? Is it because of this particular conscious, dynamic relationship with his environment? Is it because of terms and definitions which Man has interred into the abbatoir of human consciousness? (Thanks, Sis... though I believe you used "...of human faith") One must recognize the dangerous folly which such suppositions can generate. Thinking of Man as greater than Nature is, in fact, Pride. Pride, as many will attest, is a dangerous attitude to adopt. Through the light of Pride our eyes are oft blinded and we can easily lose our Way.

Enough philo-rational prattle for now. Anyway, back to my lamentation: She has taken the position of avoiding me and not returning my phone calls or other solicitations. This sucks for me right now because I needed her signature on some paperwork from my last job in order to get a COBRA health insurance continuation. I still need her signature to receive my retirement contributions and remaining leave pay. So now the sins of my past are costing me real money. Was it worth it? Well, at the time I thought so. But now that the damages could potentially create the opportunity cost of thousands of dollars, I'm pretty sure I beg to differ with myself.

Problem is, I think I beg to differ with myself too often. Kind of impedes forward progress, doesn't it? I know that's a sentence fragment but this the 21st century. Does it really matter? Besides, who ever said that rhetorical questions needed to be grammatically correct, anyway?

My Mom told me that she started reading ScooBlog. I wonder if I will consciously or subconsciously begin meta-editing or self-censoring my posts as a result. In any case, she has asked me again to release to her some of 'My Write'. Maybe I'll do that here as well; it's a wide-open forum, after all. It would be a good place to put my work and I could even post some after-thoughts about the pieces as I post them. Yeah, I'll give it a shot, likely with the next post. I just have to find the folder and journals I've written in.

OK, I've started yawning again. I'm heading back to bed to see if I can fall asleep again, too. Thanks for reading. Namaste.

(Here's a short one, Mom...)

To live is to wonder.
To wonder is to live.
- sds